[On any of those fronts. --Well. No. Attano is serious as a black goddamn hole, but she needs to talk about it about as much as she needs a bullet in her head.]
Is there anything else I should know? CDC hiring Reapers? Sturmhond and Alina break it off? Ghost is a literal ghost wearing a body suit? Sounds like you've got the juiciest sitrep
First of all, tell me you're reading the files, unlike Joker and Tali. Who actually acted like it was a bad idea. Secondly, Tali and Niko are a thing. Or nearly a thing.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
As long as the creepy sky thing doesn't drive them insane, they'll be a thing. Goto's running around. I don't think she's met a lover yet, but give her about five more minutes.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Might wanna keep an eye on yours, since she seems to like them built if Taylor and Vega are any indication. I'd try to keep an eye on mine but that doesn't exactly work. Also, stasis.
Look, it's a five-finger interface that I've made work for three. Typos happen. Fuckbuddy, lovers, they're close enough.
[The lie is obvious, but he doesn't think Shepard will really call him on it. He has a problem that starts with N and ends in 'oh-Varr.' At this point, though, he'd figured she already knew about it. Or maybe she and Tali didn't gossip as much as he and Joker did.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's not serious. Don't worry about it
[On any of those fronts. --Well. No. Attano is serious as a black goddamn hole, but she needs to talk about it about as much as she needs a bullet in her head.]
no subject
You and Falcon, or what Attano pulled? The not serious part. Also, if Honey says it'd be funny if I punched Kai Leng, would you want in?
no subject
All of the above. Re: Falcon you can tell that to anyone else who's talking about it too
[She knows how this gossipy bullshit works. Go give your new intel to all your partners in crime, Garrus.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
& I'm in no matter what. Honey can kiss me where the sun don't shine
no subject
Why would anyone be talking about it? Except for you, publicly, where anyone can read it.
[Congrats, Shepard, you're as stealthy as him.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'll ask. Beats all of the inactivity. Can't believe I'm missing being attacked.
no subject
Can't we just do it without asking and threaten to murder anyone he ever loved if he tells someone
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
So threaten the Illusive Man I guess
no subject
He doesn't even love the Illusive Man. Said he wouldn't die for him.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Besides. Spend that much time wrapped up in hate, there's no room for love. He has no one to protect except his ideal of Earth.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'd almost feel sorry for him if I didn't enjoy the memory of the look on his face when my bullet goes through his head so much.
no subject
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Okay but hear me out, Garrus. Next mission request: erasing him from the multiverse
no subject
They've got a contract with him. Wouldn't be surprised if they can't do that unless he messes up big-time.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And him messing up big-time means bad things for Earth, so not an outcome either of us want.
no subject
Ok so I buy his contract and THEN agree to get him wiped out of the multiverse. Let me dream Vakarian
no subject
You do that, I'll bring the drinks with tiny umbrellas. All of them. Every drink with a tiny umbrella that's ever been made, I'll bring.
no subject
Deal
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Is there anything else I should know? CDC hiring Reapers? Sturmhond and Alina break it off? Ghost is a literal ghost wearing a body suit? Sounds like you've got the juiciest sitrep
no subject
First of all, tell me you're reading the files, unlike Joker and Tali. Who actually acted like it was a bad idea. Secondly, Tali and Niko are a thing. Or nearly a thing.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
As long as the creepy sky thing doesn't drive them insane, they'll be a thing. Goto's running around. I don't think she's met a lover yet, but give her about five more minutes.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Might wanna keep an eye on yours, since she seems to like them built if Taylor and Vega are any indication. I'd try to keep an eye on mine but that doesn't exactly work. Also, stasis.
no subject
Of course I'm reading the files
[Note to self: talk to Tali and Joker about reading the files. Don't be like John Crichton guys, come on.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Goto and Grunt, right? Got it
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Also did you just use the word LOVER
no subject
No.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Maybe.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Look, it's a five-finger interface that I've made work for three. Typos happen. Fuckbuddy, lovers, they're close enough.
[The lie is obvious, but he doesn't think Shepard will really call him on it. He has a problem that starts with N and ends in 'oh-Varr.' At this point, though, he'd figured she already knew about it. Or maybe she and Tali didn't gossip as much as he and Joker did.]