[If the look that streaks across her face at the use of her first name is any indication, it's probably not an experiment worth repeating. Lip curls, nose wrinkles briefly, and there's something in her shoulders that goes all uncomfortable and stiff over it which is less about Jasper and more about everything else. No one calls her by it and the lack of use makes it feel like it's not something she owns, something sterile and strange.
She lets it pass without comment - bigger fish to fry and if she wants to get Jasper back over it, she'll have ample opportunity.]
What's your plan for them? What're their strengths? Weaknesses? Who's going to be trouble?
[ That briefly wrinkled frown goes mostly unnoticed as he's suddenly bombarded with questions. They aren't even very difficult ones, just unexpected and.. well, he hadn't really given most of them much thought. He's still getting used to the idea of being a leader, even for a group so small. ]
I don't really know about makin' a... a plan. They're not all fire users but close, all but one, the only Longhorn outta a bunch of Leapfrogs. They're all real strong in their own ways... pretty sure they're all stronger than me, actually. I don't think they'll give me much trouble...
[ And even if he did, he's not sure how much he can share with Shepard. There is no gag order placed against sharing Cell details with anyone on Grey, but he already knew a few things about his team that should be kept between them, for trust's sake. Still, the uncertainty of his new role weighs heavily in his words and posture. He grips the bowstring at this chest even tighter and glares down at the ground, unable to meet her questioning look. ]
I've never been a leader for anythin' or anyone before.
[It's an off the cuff remark, sincere in how easily it comes - like it shouldn't mean anything to say it, butting right up against the edge of being dismissive about what clearly look like concerns in his posture. The hesitation isn't a point of worry. Who wouldn't be wary in this environment? This is like throwing someone in white water rapids and expecting them to learn how to swim.
But she's leaning forward now, that worn look in her face layered under something sharper, something more alert now.]
But you can't work effectively if you don't know what you're working with, understand me? If you're responsible for those people and what they're supposed to do down the road, you need to make sure you give yourself the best chance to know how to make whatever gets handed to you happen.
[ It's a lot of things he doesn't understand all at once, and he's barely gotten started. But he has worked on a small, close-knit team before. He wasn't a leader among them, but the situation isn't as foreign as he thinks. And it's like Shepard says, he just needs to know what he's working with. Except he would tweak that, just slightly... he wants to know who he's working with too.
He's still looking away when he speaks, glaring slightly as if to cover his nervousness with anger. The usual. ]
Well, I'm glad you're back. Any advice you have to give... I'll listen.
[ Listen, but not necessarily take, and edit, like he's already quietly doing. She's still on Grey, for reasons he still doesn't understand, especially as a Commander in her own world. But the last time he brought it up, she'd nearly bitten his head off for asking. He still trusts her, still remains curious, but there is hesitation too. ]
How did you get to know your team, when you were commandin'?
['What.' 'Who.' It's all varying language for the same concept. There's a reason she reads every file, personnel or otherwise she has access to and it isn't because she's much of a bookworm.]
Invading their space, mostly. [Which is a raw, humorless kind of a joke but still one by technicality - some vague attempt to soften that note of anger in him, maybe.] Asking a lot of questions helps, but the more important thing is being available when someone wants to talk. In my experience, everyone wants to say something eventually. You just have to make sure they think to come to you first or you're in the right place when they start.
[Is that even helpful advice? She doesn't know - it's unquantifiable, gut instinct that she doesn't really get how to communicate. Not a learned skill, not really; maybe if it was, she'd have better luck applying it here.]
[ His frown deepens slightly, not really liking what he's hearing, Even if it is honest, good advice. ]
So be available to talk and get lucky... alright.
[ No, he clearly does not know the connotations of what he said just then at all. He's still glaring at the ground as he says it, and when he looks back up at Shepard, he's still serious. ]
I'll start by readin' all their files soon as I'm back in the rover. Before that, there anythin' I can do for you?
[ Still firmly serious, but he becomes less so when his ears perk and head tilts slightly. ]
Need a shower or some food or anythin'? I still got some jerky, and some khesau meat from a hunt the other day.
[The files are a good start, though enough of the crew is squirrely about their existence that she makes an effort to close her teeth around the encouragement on at least that point. He's already decided to do it - doesn't need her backing a move he's already fixed. But the rest--]
Someone beat you to it, but thanks anyway.
[Because as appealing as the idea of sitting in a compartment shower for the next five hours and ignoring the things she needs to get done, that's not actually going to do anything about getting her up to speed much less out in front of any potential crap headed her way (because let's not even pretend that there isn't always something coming).
And she could leave it there easily enough. Instead, forearms across her knees, she studies him for a beat. Nothing but time is going to fix the raw note in her voice, but there's nothing especially rough when she asks:]
[ The moment of studying is returned, as he turns his head up long enough to stop glaring at the ground and look her in the eye. He's mentally debating asking... no, telling her something important. It's a debate that doesn't last more than a few tense seconds. It's like she said - everyone has something to say eventually, and right now Shepard is in the right place at the right time. He hadn't been ready, when Aeryn questioned him. Now, in the light of recent events, he doesn't have time to wait until he's ready. ]
There's... somethin' else that happened, that I didn't draw. My father came through here while I was in stasis, with the temp rescue recruits. Tried to find me, maybe to kill me. I dunno. He left before I woke up.
[ It's all very low and quick, as though he's afraid of being overhead, and there is an effort being made to keep his voice flat and calm. It's an effort, but it doesn't disguise all of the anger simmering beneath the suface. ]
If he comes back with anyone new, I need to lie low for a while. Figure out a plan. If you see another elf with long white hair and blue eyes, let me know. But don't kill him.
[It's been a long time since she'd read Jasper's file, but she wouldn't be worth her salt if she couldn't remember at least a few details - and it wasn't as if his father hadn't featured prominently in it. There's little that shifts in her expression, fixed and intent, though she leans back by a fraction of a degree.]
Long white hair, blue eyes. [Committing it to memory, though somehow she can't imagine running across anyone related to Jasper and not instantly recognizing them for it.] I'll let you know if I see him.
[ No questions asked. Good. He's not ready to go into any more detail than what he'd just given her. ]
Thanks.
[ His posture straightens out, arms finally dropping to his sides after being so guarded before. The anger he'd been trying to contain passes and subsides, like a boiling pot being taken off the fire, but his expression stays hard and firm. Almost like a solider.
[If her mouth flattens again, there's at least something like surrender there even if she's just humoring him. She draws her elbows back. She straightens the line of her back. It shouldn't be, but there's something more habitual and comfortable about that than the picture of Shepard leaning forward across her knees.]
I appreciate it. [Which, for better or worse, is sincere enough. Though then she's tipping her chin up by a degree, resolved on something.] But do me a favor.
[Uh oh.]
Half whatever you're planning to give me and take the other half to Crichton.
[ The solider-like posture remains, but that's defnitely an eye-roll he's giving her. A slight one, but still an eye-roll. ]
'Course I'll leave him some, but it's not comin' outta your portion.
[ You can't tell him how to do everything, Shepard. Especially not how to share food; he takes it too traditionally and seriously. Those experiencing a loss are more likely to skip meals. Crichton's portion would need to be dried, to keep it from going bad should he forget to eat.
[Look, she's only here to tell him how to do ninety percent of things - how to run, how to handle a weapon, how to pretend nothing touches you until no one's looking. The other ten percent like who he should and shouldn't be making cake for and, apparently, how to share his hard won rations? Alright. That much he can handle on his own.]
[ False surrender or not, it's taken seriously. He gives her a short nod of approval. ]
Alright good.
[ He stands there quiet for a moment, thinking. So much happened, and he knows Shepard is catching up on the network as much as she can, what with her Blackglass being in hand as it was before he came to meet her. She likely saw it, but it's worth mentioning, worth breaking the rigid line of his back for a more casual slant. ]
Oh yeah, one more thing that happened... Dagger gave out some... animals to Red team, and some others. There's three of them in fourteen. They're cute and kind of annoyin' and I can't cook them.
[ Then, even more casually. ]
Oh, and Anders was able to cure the nightmares Corvo's magic's been givin' me.
[There's a very lame joke on her tongue about the proclivities of armed forces to collect pets - nothing like being on a backwater colony and spending every hour of downtime not dedicated to watching crappy action vids trying to tame the wildlife -and it dies before it gets past her teeth. All the color washes out of her face and for a second, for a brief strangling moment, Shepard looks--
(her throat tight and no breath in her lungs and the burning, burning feeling of choking on it. acidic taste of bile and the weight of something dark and consuming humming over her shoulder like the throb of some ancient, black engine)
--she swallows down the animal fear. It's liking biting down on something to fend off the stab of something painful. She sits very straight, draws a slow shallow breath through her nose.]
[ The shock on her face and the gravity of her question takes Jasper by almost just as much surprise. He goes rigid again, but not in the way he was before. This time his tight stance is more out of nervousness. A similar animal fear he thought he was done with. ]
Yes... you were there, remember?
[ He thought he was safe telling Shepard, thought she knew Corvo had taken him and vanished in a cloud of swirling black mist. She had been the only other one around to see it happen. ]
It was durin' the shuttle crash, on Ajna.
[ Thinking on it again, she really couldn't be blamed for not noticing. The wind was powerful and ringing in their ears, they were all nearly frozen to death, and Shepard had suffered a nasty concussion. He also hadn't mentioned anything happening as a result until now, when it was already over and fixed. He thought maybe she already knew, maybe already guessed after how he had burned his hands. Thought now that he was better it was safe to be more open about it.
No-- [It's snapped out, sharper and harder and more rigid than she means. She swallows that bite down too, bitter as it is.] I mean-- after that.
[She shouldn't have let him go. Shouldn't have let Attano take him away during the snowstorm. If she'd been more aware, she wouldn't have let Jasper slide through her fingers like that.
Or maybe she would have. He hadn't been much different from anyone else then, had he? No more familiar than any number of children she's let go. No different from a boy on Earth, there one second and gone the next - left to burn. And it's an effort to wrench herself back, to steady herself. Her jaw locks. A muscle in her cheek jumps.]
No... don't think so. I mean I know he watches me sleep sometimes, but he does that to everyone in fourteen, it's just his way.
[ He doesn't realize how strange and awful that sounds until after he says it out loud, and grimaces slightly at his own mistake. That's probably going to do nothing to calm Shepard's alarmingly heightened state right now. He grows more tense at the shoulders, but only because she does too, and it's strange to see her like this. He'd been living with the man since coming to the CDC, and he's learned Corvo's habits. Learned and accepted them, even if they came with nightmares.
He'd been too scared to bring it up with him, anyway. Not after Corvo had put a knife through his neck for the infamous Blue mission, even if he asked him to. Something he'd be sure never to mention to Shepard now.
A subject change is in order. He tries it a little too quickly. ]
He holds his new pet like it's a baby too, i-it's weird but kinda cute.
[The carved bone had been there on the table next to her bed in medical. The thought makes something in her go cold and quiet, tip of her tongue against the back of her teeth. Maybe it's paranoia. Maybe it's nothing - because what good was she to Corvo Attano? Or maybe he'd been there the whole time she'd been under.
Her expression arranges into a series of lines as rigid as the set of her shoulders, the line of her back.]
You need to be careful, Jasper.
[And that part she means, emphatic and raw in that sleep ragged voice of hers. So she's apparently not willing to follow his tangent, but at least she doesn't say the part she wants to - that Attano is dangerous. Because the last time she'd tried to warn Jasper about someone, she'd potentially had a better answer for 'Why?' than she does now and had still essentially told him 'Because.']
I know, but... Shepard, I live with him. Share a bunk...
[ Its weak, because he can't argue back. Wants to reassure her that it's fine, that yes he lives with Corvo, but everything is alright. He's leaned to live with the man, and though he'd never admit it to anyone but Corvo, cares more than he ever should have let himself. It wasn't either of their faults for wanting a father, or a son, to care about. But it hasn't been alright, not since day one.
Just thinking about it is enough to make him feel like sinking down, back down deep to that black and breathless watery abyss he'd become so used to in dreams before-
He pushes the idea from his mind before it can effect his expression. He didn't just blank for a second, no. His face goes rigid again, lines imitating hers as best he can, though his are still slanted with a mixture of doubt and confusion. It's difficult to keep hidden without retreating to his usual mask of anger. ]
[There's nothing about this conversation that makes letting it slide sound appealing - some gut deep, itching certainty that if she lets this go now, it's going to come back around with teeth. Or maybe that's just the creeping weight of eyes on her back, the curl of dark silence stretching out for her from that mark on Corvo's hand and the fitful,uneasy sleep she finds waiting for her. She digs the heel of her boot into the ground, a subtle twitch of muscle and flex of dark synthetic material - and makes a decision.]
I trust you to take care of yourself. [There's weight there, attention fixed on him. There's only so much he can do, only so much she can impress on him in the moment. And if Anders did what he could on Jasper's end, then the only other ground that needs covering is Attano.] But if it's ever not fine, don't keep it quiet.
[ He straightens out and nods, short and firm and business-like. Doesn't even bother to brush away the hair that falls over one eye. ]
I won't.
[ And then, remembering something about an elbow-dialed call and an apology and a juicebox in Medical. ]
I mean it this time. I won't keep it quiet, but... I'm gunna be keepin' it between me and Anders.
[ He almost thinks of asking, if it's alright he keeps it between himself and the other mage now, but in the end he tells her. Try as she might, there's no hiding how alarmed she is. It's hidden in the lines of how she holds herself, but the the concern behind her pressing questions had been clear as the daylight filtering through the leaves above. If he knew what else she'd been feeling, that sickening stench of salt and rot that always lingered, that couldn't be from the water so clean just behind them... he'd tell her to go see Anders too. ]
[She bites back on the rotten taste of-- not disappointment. That's not what this is, she tells herself. Because if she was looking for approval or validation for jack, she could get it by playing her cards a little less close. Worry, then. And that's normal: to be concerned about a kid in Jasper's position. He's older and more capable than he seems, she knows, but there's no shaking loose that sense where he's still just a child. More vulnerable, less armored and nothing about the way he practices schooling his expression and the lines of himself is really going to dislodge the taut feeling behind her ribs.
(Or maybe that has nothing to do with him. Maybe that's everything to do with Attano. But just like the rest, she's not going to put that under a lens for too long.)
But she nods back. It's equally short, equally firm. An itch pinches between her shoulder blades. She clears her raw throat. It doesn't have to be her.]
Good. Anders should be able to handle anything you can't on your own.
[ He nods again, still working on keeping his expression tight and neutral, though he breaks just enough quickly push that hair from his eye. ]
Thanks.
[ For allowing him to keep it between him and the healer, for understanding, for... what he suspects might be praise, but he's unsure. It's not something he's heard much in his life, however long and drawn out it's been. He's not familiar with it enough to determine on his own. Perhaps it's just another suggestion to be strong, because he isn't. Isn't strong enough to handle it all on his own. Perhaps it's praise meant for Anders. He did do an excellent job of healing him, even if they spell wouldn't last and the nightmares would return.
But that would be another night. For now he would sleep soundly. Hopefully Shepard would too soon. ]
I'm gunna go roast the rest of that meat. Expect some later. Take your time gettin' back to it, alright?
[ He doesn't wait for an answer, and instead takes his leave back the way he came... right back up the side of a tree.
Because that's definitely the fastest route back to the rovers. ]
[And he's gone, as quick as he'd come. She sits ramrod straight for a few long moments after he goes - then touches absently at her throat, hand straying quickly to her forehead. It's quiet out here at the edge of camp, far enough from the nearest rover and the hum of activity to fortify the area. Shepard lets her heels slide forward in the shale and sand and small, smoothed pebbles. Presses hard with her thumb against the bridge of her nose--]
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She lets it pass without comment - bigger fish to fry and if she wants to get Jasper back over it, she'll have ample opportunity.]
What's your plan for them? What're their strengths? Weaknesses? Who's going to be trouble?
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[ That briefly wrinkled frown goes mostly unnoticed as he's suddenly bombarded with questions. They aren't even very difficult ones, just unexpected and.. well, he hadn't really given most of them much thought. He's still getting used to the idea of being a leader, even for a group so small. ]
I don't really know about makin' a... a plan. They're not all fire users but close, all but one, the only Longhorn outta a bunch of Leapfrogs. They're all real strong in their own ways... pretty sure they're all stronger than me, actually. I don't think they'll give me much trouble...
[ And even if he did, he's not sure how much he can share with Shepard. There is no gag order placed against sharing Cell details with anyone on Grey, but he already knew a few things about his team that should be kept between them, for trust's sake. Still, the uncertainty of his new role weighs heavily in his words and posture. He grips the bowstring at this chest even tighter and glares down at the ground, unable to meet her questioning look. ]
I've never been a leader for anythin' or anyone before.
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[It's an off the cuff remark, sincere in how easily it comes - like it shouldn't mean anything to say it, butting right up against the edge of being dismissive about what clearly look like concerns in his posture. The hesitation isn't a point of worry. Who wouldn't be wary in this environment? This is like throwing someone in white water rapids and expecting them to learn how to swim.
But she's leaning forward now, that worn look in her face layered under something sharper, something more alert now.]
But you can't work effectively if you don't know what you're working with, understand me? If you're responsible for those people and what they're supposed to do down the road, you need to make sure you give yourself the best chance to know how to make whatever gets handed to you happen.
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[ It's a lot of things he doesn't understand all at once, and he's barely gotten started. But he has worked on a small, close-knit team before. He wasn't a leader among them, but the situation isn't as foreign as he thinks. And it's like Shepard says, he just needs to know what he's working with. Except he would tweak that, just slightly... he wants to know who he's working with too.
He's still looking away when he speaks, glaring slightly as if to cover his nervousness with anger. The usual. ]
Well, I'm glad you're back. Any advice you have to give... I'll listen.
[ Listen, but not necessarily take, and edit, like he's already quietly doing. She's still on Grey, for reasons he still doesn't understand, especially as a Commander in her own world. But the last time he brought it up, she'd nearly bitten his head off for asking. He still trusts her, still remains curious, but there is hesitation too. ]
How did you get to know your team, when you were commandin'?
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Invading their space, mostly. [Which is a raw, humorless kind of a joke but still one by technicality - some vague attempt to soften that note of anger in him, maybe.] Asking a lot of questions helps, but the more important thing is being available when someone wants to talk. In my experience, everyone wants to say something eventually. You just have to make sure they think to come to you first or you're in the right place when they start.
[Is that even helpful advice? She doesn't know - it's unquantifiable, gut instinct that she doesn't really get how to communicate. Not a learned skill, not really; maybe if it was, she'd have better luck applying it here.]
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So be available to talk and get lucky... alright.
[ No, he clearly does not know the connotations of what he said just then at all. He's still glaring at the ground as he says it, and when he looks back up at Shepard, he's still serious. ]
I'll start by readin' all their files soon as I'm back in the rover. Before that, there anythin' I can do for you?
[ Still firmly serious, but he becomes less so when his ears perk and head tilts slightly. ]
Need a shower or some food or anythin'? I still got some jerky, and some khesau meat from a hunt the other day.
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Someone beat you to it, but thanks anyway.
[Because as appealing as the idea of sitting in a compartment shower for the next five hours and ignoring the things she needs to get done, that's not actually going to do anything about getting her up to speed much less out in front of any potential crap headed her way (because let's not even pretend that there isn't always something coming).
And she could leave it there easily enough. Instead, forearms across her knees, she studies him for a beat. Nothing but time is going to fix the raw note in her voice, but there's nothing especially rough when she asks:]
Do you need anything?
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There's... somethin' else that happened, that I didn't draw. My father came through here while I was in stasis, with the temp rescue recruits. Tried to find me, maybe to kill me. I dunno. He left before I woke up.
[ It's all very low and quick, as though he's afraid of being overhead, and there is an effort being made to keep his voice flat and calm. It's an effort, but it doesn't disguise all of the anger simmering beneath the suface. ]
If he comes back with anyone new, I need to lie low for a while. Figure out a plan. If you see another elf with long white hair and blue eyes, let me know. But don't kill him.
He's mine.
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Long white hair, blue eyes. [Committing it to memory, though somehow she can't imagine running across anyone related to Jasper and not instantly recognizing them for it.] I'll let you know if I see him.
[No questions asked.]
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Thanks.
[ His posture straightens out, arms finally dropping to his sides after being so guarded before. The anger he'd been trying to contain passes and subsides, like a boiling pot being taken off the fire, but his expression stays hard and firm. Almost like a solider.
Almost like hers. ]
I'll leave some khesau meat by your tent anyway.
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I appreciate it. [Which, for better or worse, is sincere enough. Though then she's tipping her chin up by a degree, resolved on something.] But do me a favor.
[Uh oh.]
Half whatever you're planning to give me and take the other half to Crichton.
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'Course I'll leave him some, but it's not comin' outta your portion.
[ You can't tell him how to do everything, Shepard. Especially not how to share food; he takes it too traditionally and seriously. Those experiencing a loss are more likely to skip meals. Crichton's portion would need to be dried, to keep it from going bad should he forget to eat.
Not that he won't try to remind him. ]
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Alright, alright.
[Look, she's only here to tell him how to do ninety percent of things - how to run, how to handle a weapon, how to pretend nothing touches you until no one's looking. The other ten percent like who he should and shouldn't be making cake for and, apparently, how to share his hard won rations? Alright. That much he can handle on his own.]
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Alright good.
[ He stands there quiet for a moment, thinking. So much happened, and he knows Shepard is catching up on the network as much as she can, what with her Blackglass being in hand as it was before he came to meet her. She likely saw it, but it's worth mentioning, worth breaking the rigid line of his back for a more casual slant. ]
Oh yeah, one more thing that happened... Dagger gave out some... animals to Red team, and some others. There's three of them in fourteen. They're cute and kind of annoyin' and I can't cook them.
[ Then, even more casually. ]
Oh, and Anders was able to cure the nightmares Corvo's magic's been givin' me.
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(her throat tight and no breath in her lungs and the burning, burning feeling of choking on it. acidic taste of bile and the weight of something dark and consuming humming over her shoulder like the throb of some ancient, black engine)
--she swallows down the animal fear. It's liking biting down on something to fend off the stab of something painful. She sits very straight, draws a slow shallow breath through her nose.]
Has Attano done-- magic on you?
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Yes... you were there, remember?
[ He thought he was safe telling Shepard, thought she knew Corvo had taken him and vanished in a cloud of swirling black mist. She had been the only other one around to see it happen. ]
It was durin' the shuttle crash, on Ajna.
[ Thinking on it again, she really couldn't be blamed for not noticing. The wind was powerful and ringing in their ears, they were all nearly frozen to death, and Shepard had suffered a nasty concussion. He also hadn't mentioned anything happening as a result until now, when it was already over and fixed. He thought maybe she already knew, maybe already guessed after how he had burned his hands. Thought now that he was better it was safe to be more open about it.
Maybe he thought wrong. ]
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[She shouldn't have let him go. Shouldn't have let Attano take him away during the snowstorm. If she'd been more aware, she wouldn't have let Jasper slide through her fingers like that.
Or maybe she would have. He hadn't been much different from anyone else then, had he? No more familiar than any number of children she's let go. No different from a boy on Earth, there one second and gone the next - left to burn. And it's an effort to wrench herself back, to steady herself. Her jaw locks. A muscle in her cheek jumps.]
Did he do anything to your head?
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[ He doesn't realize how strange and awful that sounds until after he says it out loud, and grimaces slightly at his own mistake. That's probably going to do nothing to calm Shepard's alarmingly heightened state right now. He grows more tense at the shoulders, but only because she does too, and it's strange to see her like this. He'd been living with the man since coming to the CDC, and he's learned Corvo's habits. Learned and accepted them, even if they came with nightmares.
He'd been too scared to bring it up with him, anyway. Not after Corvo had put a knife through his neck for the infamous Blue mission, even if he asked him to. Something he'd be sure never to mention to Shepard now.
A subject change is in order. He tries it a little too quickly. ]
He holds his new pet like it's a baby too, i-it's weird but kinda cute.
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Her expression arranges into a series of lines as rigid as the set of her shoulders, the line of her back.]
You need to be careful, Jasper.
[And that part she means, emphatic and raw in that sleep ragged voice of hers. So she's apparently not willing to follow his tangent, but at least she doesn't say the part she wants to - that Attano is dangerous. Because the last time she'd tried to warn Jasper about someone, she'd potentially had a better answer for 'Why?' than she does now and had still essentially told him 'Because.']
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[ Its weak, because he can't argue back. Wants to reassure her that it's fine, that yes he lives with Corvo, but everything is alright. He's leaned to live with the man, and though he'd never admit it to anyone but Corvo, cares more than he ever should have let himself. It wasn't either of their faults for wanting a father, or a son, to care about. But it hasn't been alright, not since day one.
Just thinking about it is enough to make him feel like sinking down, back down deep to that black and breathless watery abyss he'd become so used to in dreams before-
He pushes the idea from his mind before it can effect his expression. He didn't just blank for a second, no. His face goes rigid again, lines imitating hers as best he can, though his are still slanted with a mixture of doubt and confusion. It's difficult to keep hidden without retreating to his usual mask of anger. ]
I'll be fine. Just said Anders fixed it.
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I trust you to take care of yourself. [There's weight there, attention fixed on him. There's only so much he can do, only so much she can impress on him in the moment. And if Anders did what he could on Jasper's end, then the only other ground that needs covering is Attano.] But if it's ever not fine, don't keep it quiet.
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I won't.
[ And then, remembering something about an elbow-dialed call and an apology and a juicebox in Medical. ]
I mean it this time. I won't keep it quiet, but... I'm gunna be keepin' it between me and Anders.
[ He almost thinks of asking, if it's alright he keeps it between himself and the other mage now, but in the end he tells her. Try as she might, there's no hiding how alarmed she is. It's hidden in the lines of how she holds herself, but the the concern behind her pressing questions had been clear as the daylight filtering through the leaves above. If he knew what else she'd been feeling, that sickening stench of salt and rot that always lingered, that couldn't be from the water so clean just behind them... he'd tell her to go see Anders too. ]
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(Or maybe that has nothing to do with him. Maybe that's everything to do with Attano. But just like the rest, she's not going to put that under a lens for too long.)
But she nods back. It's equally short, equally firm. An itch pinches between her shoulder blades. She clears her raw throat. It doesn't have to be her.]
Good. Anders should be able to handle anything you can't on your own.
[High praise.]
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Thanks.
[ For allowing him to keep it between him and the healer, for understanding, for... what he suspects might be praise, but he's unsure. It's not something he's heard much in his life, however long and drawn out it's been. He's not familiar with it enough to determine on his own. Perhaps it's just another suggestion to be strong, because he isn't. Isn't strong enough to handle it all on his own. Perhaps it's praise meant for Anders. He did do an excellent job of healing him, even if they spell wouldn't last and the nightmares would return.
But that would be another night. For now he would sleep soundly. Hopefully Shepard would too soon. ]
I'm gunna go roast the rest of that meat. Expect some later. Take your time gettin' back to it, alright?
[ He doesn't wait for an answer, and instead takes his leave back the way he came... right back up the side of a tree.
Because that's definitely the fastest route back to the rovers. ]
no subject
Shit.
[She doesn't linger long.]