[She could spare his feelings, be diplomatic about this - but when has Shepard ever been anything but to the point? If he's asking for her opinion, she'll give it to him - for better or worse, whether it's warranted or not.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
If it's your specialty, I haven't seen it. I've seen Rogers and Sun work
Shepard, I'll be frank. I led at the end of Ajna. Afterwards, when we were assessed on this very issue, I scored higher than anyone. You have seen me lead, and you have seen me lead well.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I don't believe this is about what you haven't seen. I think it's about you disagreeing with my orders when people died on the Neheda. That has nothing to do with my leadership on the field.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
If this was solely about my field leadership, you wouldn't have moved me. You're letting personal feelings cloud your judgement.
[ Which is exactly what she did before, so he's not very surprised. ]
Both Rogers and Sun have more than enough experience to teach fundamental field strategy. This is basic, not about scoring highest on an assessment not everyone was even required to take
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
With the increase in leads I cut down on the number of classes everyone is teaching. I put you where I thought the need was greater. If I was half as biased as you think I am I would have taken you off entirely
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Trust me when I say that if I thought you were incompetent I wouldn't let you near this program
Then prove it, and put me back on the class I'm best able to teach.
[ He doesn't believe her. He thinks she's making a call because she doesn't like that he wouldn't bend to her will over his orders. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Whatever you think of me, Shepard, my priority is the safety and wellbeing of this crew. If the number of classes is the issue, switch me out of a different one. Aeryn takes basic training every day.
[She believes that - that it's his priority. What she doesn't have any faith in is Sturmhond's definition of who 'this crew' consists of, how far that loyalty extends to an individual or who's holding the leash he's tied to.
--They're the same people who're holding all of their lines, but the fact that he gives every appearance of being satisfied with the collar doesn't win him any points in her book.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
This isn't about where you feel you deserve to be. It's about where you're needed. If the safety and well being of this crew is really your top priority, you'll understand that
Garrus Vakarian spoke to me after our discussion, on the Neheda. He seemed worried I might hold a grudge against you.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I told him I wasn't the one he needed to worry about.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You're right. This isn't about where I think I deserve to be. It's where you thought I should be, before we argued over the orders you didn't like.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
For what it's worth, I never had any desire to be at odds with you. Aside from anything to do with the classes or the program, I still don't want that.
The next time you want someone to do you a favor, try not to act like you're entitled to it first
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
I don't really care what you think of me or how you don't like that I won't bend over backwards to make you happy when you clearly don't respect me
[If Shepard recognizes the hypocrisy in those statements, she's not making note of it to him.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
What I DO care is this program and the people in it. They need to know how to function successfully when running blind because that's all we seem to do here.
FROM: shepard.lydia@cedc.org
Bottom line: this isn't about you or me. If you really want to help these recruits, you'll do what's necessary and not just what you want. If you don't like my answer, you're free to do your own thing. God knows everyone here could use more training
[ He's going to ignore the majority of that, since he finally got what seems like a shred of honesty from her. That's what he'd been looking for in the first place. ]
If you had any respect for me or how Sun and I choose to run this program there wouldn't be any reason to jump to this being a personal issue
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
This has nothing to do with gag orders or instructions from the brass. If you disagree with something, fine. If you think I'm doing it out of spite, that suggests a lack of care for these students I don't have time for
If I didn't have respect for you, I wouldn't have come to talk about it. If the air didn't need clearing, then why didn't you talk to me before taking me off a class I'd been preparing for?
Since that day, you've spoken to me only when you had to. Don't tell me I'm imagining it, Shepard. If that's not what influenced your decision, fine. I'll accept your word on that.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
It doesn't mean there wasn't something wrong between us, which I would like to put right.
I didn't have anything to say to you and as far as I'm aware you haven't had anything to say to me up until now. I didn't see the point in wasting either of our time
[And maybe if they're both extremely lucky, Shepard's muleheadedness will do something to convince herself of it as much as she's trying to get Sturmhond to buy it.]
[ He doesn’t buy it, not really. He’s not particularly trusting, as a rule, but he doesn’t believe that he was imagining things. He does think that pressing her further won’t make a difference, though. If she doesn’t want to bend, he can’t make her. He’ll just hope that taking the first step will end up counting for something. For now, he’ll stop bothering her.]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Then I’ll let you get back to whatever I interrupted. Thank you for your time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
If it's your specialty, I haven't seen it. I've seen Rogers and Sun work
no subject
Shepard, I'll be frank. I led at the end of Ajna. Afterwards, when we were assessed on this very issue, I scored higher than anyone. You have seen me lead, and you have seen me lead well.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I don't believe this is about what you haven't seen. I think it's about you disagreeing with my orders when people died on the Neheda. That has nothing to do with my leadership on the field.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
If this was solely about my field leadership, you wouldn't have moved me. You're letting personal feelings cloud your judgement.
[ Which is exactly what she did before, so he's not very surprised. ]
no subject
Both Rogers and Sun have more than enough experience to teach fundamental field strategy. This is basic, not about scoring highest on an assessment not everyone was even required to take
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
With the increase in leads I cut down on the number of classes everyone is teaching. I put you where I thought the need was greater. If I was half as biased as you think I am I would have taken you off entirely
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Trust me when I say that if I thought you were incompetent I wouldn't let you near this program
no subject
Then prove it, and put me back on the class I'm best able to teach.
[ He doesn't believe her. He thinks she's making a call because she doesn't like that he wouldn't bend to her will over his orders. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Whatever you think of me, Shepard, my priority is the safety and wellbeing of this crew. If the number of classes is the issue, switch me out of a different one. Aeryn takes basic training every day.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You can't tell me this issue is one of logistics.
no subject
--They're the same people who're holding all of their lines, but the fact that he gives every appearance of being satisfied with the collar doesn't win him any points in her book.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
This isn't about where you feel you deserve to be. It's about where you're needed. If the safety and well being of this crew is really your top priority, you'll understand that
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
I'll take your request under advisement
no subject
Garrus Vakarian spoke to me after our discussion, on the Neheda. He seemed worried I might hold a grudge against you.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I told him I wasn't the one he needed to worry about.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
You're right. This isn't about where I think I deserve to be. It's where you thought I should be, before we argued over the orders you didn't like.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
For what it's worth, I never had any desire to be at odds with you. Aside from anything to do with the classes or the program, I still don't want that.
no subject
Can I give you some advice?
no subject
By all means.
so sorry for the delay
The next time you want someone to do you a favor, try not to act like you're entitled to it first
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
I don't really care what you think of me or how you don't like that I won't bend over backwards to make you happy when you clearly don't respect me
[If Shepard recognizes the hypocrisy in those statements, she's not making note of it to him.]
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
What I DO care is this program and the people in it. They need to know how to function successfully when running blind because that's all we seem to do here.
FROM: shepard.lydia@cedc.org
Bottom line: this isn't about you or me. If you really want to help these recruits, you'll do what's necessary and not just what you want. If you don't like my answer, you're free to do your own thing. God knows everyone here could use more training
no subject
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Why do you think I don't respect you?
no subject
If you had any respect for me or how Sun and I choose to run this program there wouldn't be any reason to jump to this being a personal issue
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
This has nothing to do with gag orders or instructions from the brass. If you disagree with something, fine. If you think I'm doing it out of spite, that suggests a lack of care for these students I don't have time for
no subject
If I didn't have respect for you, I wouldn't have come to talk about it. If the air didn't need clearing, then why didn't you talk to me before taking me off a class I'd been preparing for?
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Respect goes both ways.
no subject
No one else had any say in their reassignments either. You're the only one who's come to tell me I had something against them because of it
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
I also said I'd consider your request. Just because I'm not handing it to you on a silver platter doesn't mean it couldn't happen
no subject
And I accepted that. I still wanted to clear the air.
no subject
By effectively saying that I've been holding a grudge against you
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
I'm not sure where you learned how clearing the air works, but it's not something that culturally translates
no subject
Haven't you?
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Since that day, you've spoken to me only when you had to. Don't tell me I'm imagining it, Shepard. If that's not what influenced your decision, fine. I'll accept your word on that.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
It doesn't mean there wasn't something wrong between us, which I would like to put right.
no subject
I didn't have anything to say to you and as far as I'm aware you haven't had anything to say to me up until now. I didn't see the point in wasting either of our time
FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
There's nothing to put right
no subject
If you're certain.
[ He's not certain. But if there does remain a problem, no one can say he didn't try to fix it. The ball is in her court now. ]
no subject
I'm positive
[And maybe if they're both extremely lucky, Shepard's muleheadedness will do something to convince herself of it as much as she's trying to get Sturmhond to buy it.]
no subject
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Then I’ll let you get back to whatever I interrupted. Thank you for your time.