[He has so much to say and so little time. Even finding the words takes work. But he owes her this. When she'd died, when he hadn't had the chance to talk to her one last time, that had weighed him down just as much as not having her back.]
I made you a promise. And it doesn't look like I'm gonna keep it. Meant... I meant to see things through to the end with you. Wanted to, too.
[He's found some sort of weak footing now, and he picks up a little steam even if his voice is still exhausted and discouraged.]
Blue mission... it's not just kill someone. They had to turn in a name of someone they trusted first. And after that, they were told to kill that person. My name was turned in.
[A pause, a breath. It's not just her that Garrus is breaking this down for.]
My name was turned in. I... We've killed so many, Lydia, but never someone for personal gain. We've never crossed that line. They've always deserved it. I can't... I can't go against everything I've ever stood for. I can't kill for the sole reason of living another day.
[Thank everything these are sent in burst transmissions, because if it was some sort of live communication line he knows he wouldn't be able to get half of this out. It's already a struggle to get that last bit out, voice choked despite all of his efforts to face this head-on and deal with it.]
no subject
Yeah. But I...
[He has so much to say and so little time. Even finding the words takes work. But he owes her this. When she'd died, when he hadn't had the chance to talk to her one last time, that had weighed him down just as much as not having her back.]
I made you a promise. And it doesn't look like I'm gonna keep it. Meant... I meant to see things through to the end with you. Wanted to, too.
[He's found some sort of weak footing now, and he picks up a little steam even if his voice is still exhausted and discouraged.]
Blue mission... it's not just kill someone. They had to turn in a name of someone they trusted first. And after that, they were told to kill that person. My name was turned in.
[A pause, a breath. It's not just her that Garrus is breaking this down for.]
My name was turned in. I... We've killed so many, Lydia, but never someone for personal gain. We've never crossed that line. They've always deserved it. I can't... I can't go against everything I've ever stood for. I can't kill for the sole reason of living another day.
[Thank everything these are sent in burst transmissions, because if it was some sort of live communication line he knows he wouldn't be able to get half of this out. It's already a struggle to get that last bit out, voice choked despite all of his efforts to face this head-on and deal with it.]