[she's frustrated. only a brief moment of it: can't identify its cause, a bit of him thinks (wishes) it wasn't him, but he's the only thing around trying to grab her attention and anyway, it made sense. hands shifted in front of him, weight restlessly shifted foot-to-foot, nails biting into the bone of his wrist and his,]
I'm sorry! I let my mouth r-- un...
[breaks into her you're half right. of course, his fades first. then there's nothing to do but listen.]
[... which doesn't turn out as bad as he thinks it will. a bit surreal, sure - letting his mouth run felt tantamount to signing his own death sentence; knew what he'd said wasn't anything too big but it was awfully personal and awfully lazy-sounding, and the combination kept him in a state of wanting to run until two seconds after she'd finished and he blinked and --- oh.]
... I'm sorry for that, too. [making excuses, except saying it would've been three times as damning. sometime in the conversation, he'd taken a step back. his tension, however, managed to ease with a shaky breath out. she wasn't angry? she would be if he didn't make an effort in listening before replying.] What you're talking about, it's... kind of like the units? Only with more like-minded people.
[rather, people given the same goal. get over yourself--- if he were to (he'd like to):]
And it's a trade. Or it should be. Covering each other's asses, sure, that's a great part of, um. A group. But. If a person starts getting special exemption, or takes too much without giving back... [still needed the training, still enjoyed the camaraderie, up-down dwindling interest in both and further yet,] bit useless, aren't they? If they don't have any drive to contribute, it's better for the whole team to cut the loss.
[not a matter of skill, for the first time in his stay within CDC. this was an older, deeper set conviction: if you couldn't muster up interest, why bother? it began with a stand-offish, bespectacled blond; he hadn't thought it'd turn to him, but that was part of the funny twists in life.]
no subject
[she's frustrated. only a brief moment of it: can't identify its cause, a bit of him thinks (wishes) it wasn't him, but he's the only thing around trying to grab her attention and anyway, it made sense. hands shifted in front of him, weight restlessly shifted foot-to-foot, nails biting into the bone of his wrist and his,]
I'm sorry! I let my mouth r-- un...
[breaks into her you're half right. of course, his fades first. then there's nothing to do but listen.]
[... which doesn't turn out as bad as he thinks it will. a bit surreal, sure - letting his mouth run felt tantamount to signing his own death sentence; knew what he'd said wasn't anything too big but it was awfully personal and awfully lazy-sounding, and the combination kept him in a state of wanting to run until two seconds after she'd finished and he blinked and --- oh.]
... I'm sorry for that, too. [making excuses, except saying it would've been three times as damning. sometime in the conversation, he'd taken a step back. his tension, however, managed to ease with a shaky breath out. she wasn't angry? she would be if he didn't make an effort in listening before replying.] What you're talking about, it's... kind of like the units? Only with more like-minded people.
[rather, people given the same goal. get over yourself--- if he were to (he'd like to):]
And it's a trade. Or it should be. Covering each other's asses, sure, that's a great part of, um. A group. But. If a person starts getting special exemption, or takes too much without giving back... [still needed the training, still enjoyed the camaraderie, up-down dwindling interest in both and further yet,] bit useless, aren't they? If they don't have any drive to contribute, it's better for the whole team to cut the loss.
[not a matter of skill, for the first time in his stay within CDC. this was an older, deeper set conviction: if you couldn't muster up interest, why bother? it began with a stand-offish, bespectacled blond; he hadn't thought it'd turn to him, but that was part of the funny twists in life.]