[she barely moves from neck down, and that's preciously why he catches sight of the smudge at her cuff. something out of line, as curious as her being here, and he thinks he could bring it up and she'd leave and it'd be fine except no, that was a terrible idea, why had he even had that idea?]
[he'd yet to have a formal dressing down, but the dread on her words felt like it came close. it wiped away caution -- one little question, and he became irrationally irritated at himself and her, and, beyond that, tired.]
I know, I know. [head remaining slightly ducked, eyes off to the side, the rest of him doing its best to pull to attention without actually raising his shoulders.] To prepare for upcoming missions, to learn the skills necessary for survival and how being in a military environment works, I know, Ms. Shepard, I know. There's no-- there's not sick days on the field, those are called dead days. It's-- I--- I feel, I don't know, either I can't sleep or I sleep too much but I'm always tired and sometimes, it's the days where I can sleep, so I sleep a lot, and those days, it's- really, really hard to get up for things, you know?
[right?]
[... the last two words stick as barbed thorns in his mind, a belated why are you so worked up about this? sneaking in under. he realizes he's worked himself up into faster breathing at about the same time he realizes how much he rambled. mouth opens, apology poised, but for another too-long second, he freezes up.]
already half-way there it's your faaault
[he'd yet to have a formal dressing down, but the dread on her words felt like it came close. it wiped away caution -- one little question, and he became irrationally irritated at himself and her, and, beyond that, tired.]
I know, I know. [head remaining slightly ducked, eyes off to the side, the rest of him doing its best to pull to attention without actually raising his shoulders.] To prepare for upcoming missions, to learn the skills necessary for survival and how being in a military environment works, I know, Ms. Shepard, I know. There's no-- there's not sick days on the field, those are called dead days. It's-- I--- I feel, I don't know, either I can't sleep or I sleep too much but I'm always tired and sometimes, it's the days where I can sleep, so I sleep a lot, and those days, it's- really, really hard to get up for things, you know?
[right?]
[... the last two words stick as barbed thorns in his mind, a belated why are you so worked up about this? sneaking in under. he realizes he's worked himself up into faster breathing at about the same time he realizes how much he rambled. mouth opens, apology poised, but for another too-long second, he freezes up.]