No-- [It's snapped out, sharper and harder and more rigid than she means. She swallows that bite down too, bitter as it is.] I mean-- after that.
[She shouldn't have let him go. Shouldn't have let Attano take him away during the snowstorm. If she'd been more aware, she wouldn't have let Jasper slide through her fingers like that.
Or maybe she would have. He hadn't been much different from anyone else then, had he? No more familiar than any number of children she's let go. No different from a boy on Earth, there one second and gone the next - left to burn. And it's an effort to wrench herself back, to steady herself. Her jaw locks. A muscle in her cheek jumps.]
no subject
[She shouldn't have let him go. Shouldn't have let Attano take him away during the snowstorm. If she'd been more aware, she wouldn't have let Jasper slide through her fingers like that.
Or maybe she would have. He hadn't been much different from anyone else then, had he? No more familiar than any number of children she's let go. No different from a boy on Earth, there one second and gone the next - left to burn. And it's an effort to wrench herself back, to steady herself. Her jaw locks. A muscle in her cheek jumps.]
Did he do anything to your head?